Remember that time when you were meditating to the calm voice of an Indian yogi and you were really starting to relax and (trying to ignore your children screaming upstairs) you were really able to breathe into your spleen and then (as if possessed by the devil), you shot up to sitting and shouted “SHUT UP!!!” at the top of your lungs?
Oh, wait. That was me.
Even though it really pisses me off and bums me out, I do like to be humbled and reminded that life is chaos. This was one such humbling moment. There are many.
I find that anytime I gloat in the fact that I have nailed down this magic formula of HOW TO LIVE PERFECTLY (perfectly balanced, perfectly sexy, perfectly divine, perfectly obvious, when you really think about it), life nods her head and says “yes, it really does look like you have this “life” thing down and I hope the last few weeks have been really great” and then she sticks out her foot and trips me.
I like this gal. Life. She reminds me that life will never stop throwing me curve balls. That it is not about finding the perfect way to live (one that will negate all obstacles, bad hair days and moments of desperation). That life is chaos. She is a whirlwind of ups and downs, moments of clarity and moments of darkness. Happiness and joy. And sadness and pain. And days of swirling and twirling emotions that run from elation before breakfast, depression at lunch and worry and anxiousness at cocktail hour. She cannot be controlled, scheduled, dominated or mastered.
And moments of confusion, self-doubt, exhaustion, anger, worry, anxiousness and the blues will come to me. All I can do is decide how I face them and where I go from there.
A big part of facing them is to acknowledge that these moments do not make me a failure. Or wrong. Or “so close but no cigar”. They are my life. And what I can do is to choose how I deal with them when they happen. And that is what living a juicy life is all about. Setting priorities that allow me to maximize the joy, truth, fun, adventure and lusciousness in my life. And then, when moments happen that interfere with that state, being able to be kind and compassionate to myself, knowing that these times are (mostly) temporary and, most importantly, having a set of tools that allow me to get back to where I want to be.
There is another big lesson for me in these humbling moments. It is that I am not immune, no matter how juicy my life is, to the potholes of life and to the quicksand traps of the mind. And that helps me to be compassionate to myself and to other women. And it reminds me to remain modest and authentic.
So the next time, in a moment of desperation, you ask your three-year old what she does when she feels overwhelmed and anxious, (whoops, me again!), allow yourself to know that this is just life, that you are still worthy and awesome and beautiful and on the right path and that we are all on this crazy ship together. Doing our best to live our juiciest lives ever.
If you’d like to share a comment about your humbling moments or what you do when they come a-knockin’, please write a comment below. I’d love to hear what you’ve learned in your life.