I was at a wading pool. The water was so so cold and the weather was so so hot. I sat beside two little girls as they played in the pool. One of them dribbled some cold water on my hot leg and it felt delicious.
They were delighted at my delight. They spent a long time filling up their buckets with cold water and pouring it on my feet. My knees. My legs. I oohed and aahed. They loved it. And then I asked one of the girls if she wanted to feel what it felt like. We switched positions; I filled the bucket and poured cold water on her skin.
It felt like a sacred act – pleasure being given and received from woman to girl and back again. I thought about how little we do this for each other. Moms and daughters. Girlfriends. Women to each other.
Asking for, allowing and receiving pleasure has been so tainted by porn and a puritanical distrust of anything that feels good that most of us have a rock-hard resistance to surrendering to pleasure. We women learn our lessons well, don’t we? And in a culture where we are yearning to be touched but everything encourages us to keep a respectful distance from each other, giving and receiving pleasure seems like an indecently intimate act.
This moment with myself and these two girls was exquisite. It felt like the most beautiful and natural thing to do and utterly unnatural and forbidden at the same time.
The way we deprive ourselves daily, of pleasure, is such a deep shame. I believe that our skin is yearning to be touched gently. Our senses are designed to moan over that first gorgeous bite of food. Our backs want to arch in ecstasy when that perfectly breathtaking warm breeze finds it’s way through our hair and down our neck. We are built to ooh and aah over a smell, close our eyes over the exact right tickle. What ecstasy the world can offer us when we lose our minds in the pleasure of being adored, gifted, opened, relaxed, seduced, satiated and overcome by smells and touch and food and sound.
Have you ever found yourself holding back that sigh of pleasure, that moan of ecstasy? Have you ever wanted to shift your body during a tickle to receive it in even more of a delicious way, but stopped yourself? Have you ever found someone’s full sensual enjoyment of something, uncomfortable?
In the comments below, I’d love to hear what your experience is with pleasure. How you think about it in your life. Whether it has a place there or whether it doesn’t. What you were taught about the place of pleasure in your life.