Last week, in “How I started to get my mojo back – Part 1”, I wrote about discovering I didn’t feel sexy, having a boo-hoo moment and then starting on a determined path to feel sexy again. For myself. By myself. Through myself. Yes, I wanted to get my mojo back.
When I looked up the meaning of mojo, it took on an even more awesome power for me. Meanings of mojo – a magic charm, spell or talisman. A magical power. And more recently, sex appeal or talent.
In essence, mojo is way bigger than just sex appeal. It’s having something magic inside of you that allows you to shine. I like it. I like it a lot.
At the end of last week’s post, I talked about the first step I took to reclaiming my sexy. Which was to firmly and without doubt, place all of the gorgeous burden of how I wanted to feel ON ME. Not on my lover, not on my life, not on the outside world. Even the mere thought of that was a game shifter for me. And as I started to focus on and pay attention to how I wanted to feel in my body, heart and spirit (sexy, sexy, sexy), I could feel how it affected all the parts of my life. I felt a skip in my step. More energy. Better connected and in love with my body. A deeper confidence. A bigger sense of fun. Power. Vitality.
I was getting my mojo back. My secret power. My magic. Starting with sexy and then, aiming for the stars.
My job became to make sure that I gave my mojo what she needed to live. To shine.
My mojo does not thrive when overwhelmed (too many things to do, too many expectations), under slept (this will kill her outright) or over scheduled (her delicate little heart does not shine at a fast and furious pace). She does thrive when she is nourished (good food, good sleep, space and peace in my days, mojo-activating-time, fun…) and happy (this hits it out of the park).
As my mojo and concept of my sexuality grew, also decided that I would redefine my sex life. I wanted it to be so much bigger and brighter than just boy-meets-girl. Or girl-meets-girl. Which is usually a benchmark we all use to define our sex lives, right? Meaning, how often are you getting it? If you’re getting it a lot, you must have a great sex life. And if you are not, your sex life must be dead.
Now, I love getting it as much as the next girl but to have my sexuality and my mojo defined by just that? Hmm, no thanks. Too small, too limiting, too dependent on the other in the scenario. So I changed the rules and decided that my litmus test would be so much more ME, so much more exciting, EXPANSIVE and way more fun.
What was important to me, beyond what happened with a partner, was;
Getting turned on. Feeling lustful.
Turning myself on.
Knowing what turns me on.
Continually evolving and developing my knowledge and my curiosity about my sexuality.
Being able to write down 5 fantasies on demand. (See? Way more fun, right?!)
Reading erotica. Keeping desire in the brain.
Connecting with my sexual essence through dance.
Feeling desirable. Wanted. Adored. ALIVE.
Those were my new benchmarks. My new goals. And so my sexuality and my mojo got steadily bigger. Better. Stronger. A swivel of the hips. A twinkle in the eye. A flip of the hair. A self-satisfied smile. A flirt. A feeling of being able to create magic within. My own magical power. My mojo.
How is your mojo feeling these days? In any way that you define it? If it’s not where you want it to be, what can you do about it?
I lift a glass to all of our mojos. The ones floating high and mighty, the shining ones, the growing ones, the ones starting to push through like new growth in the spring, the sleeping ones that are willing and ready to be awaken. As Austin Power’s once (or twice) said, “Yeah, baby, YEAH!”