A few weeks ago, I had a booking to speak with a mum’s group. A few days before the talk, one of the organizers told me that the group was more interested in nutrition and parenting and so they had booked someone else for the talk.
Rejected! Although, ever since I read a book written by a stripper who talked about how many men she had to approach before one said yes to a lap dance (it was a lot….and she was doing it wearing a bikini), rejection hasn’t been that hard for me.
However, to say that my gentle-spirited heart didn’t flop down on the couch with a hand dramatically on her forehead would be untruthful.
And then I wrote back saying that if they had another spot that they thought I would fit in, I’d love to take it. (“Never get mad at rejection! Up your game with enthusiasm!” – thank you, Mama Gena.)
And I thought again about how the work I do can be a really hard sell. About how challenging it can be to get women’s attention away from finding the perfect workout/outfit/disciplining technique/job/recipe for broccoli-filled desserts/haircut/vegan diet/clothes/handbag/boyfriend and towards finding themselves.
Man, it’s tough. And I know what it feels like, especially from a motherhood perspective, to constantly be on “improvement” mode…what should I be doing more of? Less of? What should I be doing a better job at? Are there any gaps? Holes? Mistakes? Brewing issues? Potential problems? It’s like being on constant anxiety alert…and it can be done with parenting, a marriage, a job, dating or anything else.
It is exhausting. And it changes nothing. Armed with the right breakfast recipe for you and your kids could result in more time and stress for you and be just another meal that gets consumed and forgotten.
I know the anxiety and worry treadmill…where you constantly have binoculars trained on everyone around you and outside you and what they are doing dictate what you should do too. I used to be in the place. That used to be the version of my life. So I know how all-encompassing it can be. So for me to stand up and say to women “forget the recipes, the outfits, the constant giving and fixing and trying to be better….just fall in love with yourself, dive into your glory and become a glorious fucking woman!”….well, it can be challenging.
But, you know me. I love a good challenge. And when I witness a woman experience a moment of her glorious self, when she holds the reins of her life, when she steps into herself and becomes filled up with her own power and beauty? Well now, holy shit. That’s worth every rejection, every hard sell and every challenge.
Without an once of judgement because I’ve been there, I get it and I am you and you are me… I wanted to ask some questions.
Is it possible that the real changes we want in our lives, the real yearnings we have, will never be answered by chasing the “perfection” model of how we parent, work, eat, exercise, look or behave?
Is it possible that when we focus on being better in our roles as friends, mothers, employees, entrepreneurs, daughters and partners that we actually just put more pressure and expectation on ourselves, which leads to more stress and less pleasure and fun? And we forget to focus on being US.
Is it possible that a night out dancing once a month with our girlfriends would give us so much more soul-joy than learning how to make that perfect green smoothie for our kids?
Is it possible for us to be brave enough to turn all of our energy and focus from the outside to the inside and really fill us up? Adore us? Fall in love with ourselves? Feel great in our skins, our bodies, our hearts and our lives?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. For the mothers and every other woman out there – what does this make you think of? Does anything resonate for you here? What is your story that you can share about this?