My thoughts on beauty…

 

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Now that I have a daughter, I have been examining my opinion of the word “beautiful” and what beauty is. Or should be.

Little girls hear a lot about being beautiful. They are told they look so pretty in their dress. That they are beautiful. Adorable. Cute. Smile for the camera! There is something in all of that that makes me feel uncomfortable. Whether it’s from a stranger or a close family member, I can’t help but hear the message loud and clear – that for girls, being beautiful is important. That it is tied up in their worth, their value, their destiny.

On the other hand, banning the word all together doesn’t feel right either. Because it’s a wonderful thing to say and it’s a wonderful thing to feel.

How can we have beauty on our own terms so it fuels and lifts us up and doesn’t denigrate or diminish us?

Continue reading “My thoughts on beauty…”

I always look to THIS woman when I have a problem…

Inner wisdom

 

There are times when I feel lost or overwhelmed. When I’m facing problems that I don’t know how to solve because I can’t see around my own petty emotions and issues. When I feel as if me, mere human, can’t step up to the challenge. When I feel helpless, I turn to my inner wisdom and ask “What would Juicy Sophie do?”.

I love this woman. She’s fierce. Undaunted by challenges. Open. Compassionate. Wise. Finds the fun in everything. Unfettered by ego, blame, guilt. She is endlessly positive. She bears no grudges because they don’t serve her. She looks at problems as opportunities and ignores anything that prevents her from confronting them with love and a sense of humour.

For example, when I have something difficult that I want to say to someone, I need her help. I might have issues around the conversation. Or feel afraid of rejection. Afraid of rocking the boat. Of saying too much. Of hurting feelings. I may lack the courage to carry it through, although I know I want to say it and that it is the right step to take forward. Enter Juicy Sophie. She doesn’t even flinch. She knows that the fear of the conversation is worth the risk. She approaches it with compassion and honesty. She is breathtakingly clear in her conviction that because she feels that it is something she wants to say, that it is worth saying. That it is important. She doesn’t bat an eye at issues in relationships because she knows that it is an opportunity to make them even better. She rushes in, happy to set things right, happy to right a wrong, happy to have a conversation about something important to her because she does it from a place of joy and love.

What I love about Juicy Sophie is what she doesn’t let get in her way. Fear. Doubt. Jealousy. Grudges. Anger. What ifs.  She doesn’t run from problems. She greets them with a smile, a glass of wine and an open, glorious heart. She operates from a place of FREEDOM because she is always searching for ways to make her life richer and she knows that how she approaches challenges and problems is crucial to her sense of freedom and joy.

Continue reading “I always look to THIS woman when I have a problem…”

What I hear A LOT from women…

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Here’s what I hear a lot from women when I send out an email about a workshop I’m having. You know, one of those sexy workshops.

“Sophie, I would love to some day but I’m just not ready yet.”

“I’m trying to lose some weight and when I do, I’ll totally come.”

“I don’t have anyone in my life right now.”

“I’m just too tired. I don’t have time.”

“When I’m feeling braver, I’ll come.”

Bah, I say. BAH!

It breaks my heart and makes me mad at the world that women should feel that there is a “perfect” time to express and pay attention to their sensuality. (By the way, I’m going to use sensuality to mean all of our sexual and sensual energies. Sexual is so limited; sensual embraces all possible pleasures. Which just sounds so much more divine, non?!)

Our sensual self is there. Here. All the time. She is there when we have bellies that roll over the top of our jogging pants. She is there when we are buzzing with lust, strutting in high heels, falling in love. She is there when we feel awkward. Shy. Shameful. When we don’t know how to say what we want to say. She is there when we feel like we will never desire again. Never feel anything again. She is there when we are trying to recover from an injustice. A violation of the worst kind. A rejection. A hurtful comment from a lover. She is there when we are the “perfect” weight. She is there afterwards. And before. She is there after we have a baby, an injury, a surgery and we’re facing new bodies. She is there when we are exploding with pleasure. She is there when no-one else is. She is still there when we feel too old to live as a sensual woman. When we feel that we are too married. Too damaged. Too unworthy. She is there when we are tired, depleted, at rock bottom, sad, angry and lost.

Continue reading “What I hear A LOT from women…”

EVERY woman needs to hear this message…

Love-yourself-first

 

I’m not really interested in celebrities. But I got turned on to this video by a friend and I have watched it twice and will likely watch it again.

It is SUCH an important (and revolutionary) message to women, and about women, and how we are living our lives these days. It will speak to every woman who has ever felt that she needed to sacrifice her own happiness. Ever. For her kids. For her job. For her boyfriend. For her partner.

No, no, darling. That is not the way to do it.

I hope these ideas inspire you to make outrageous self-care a priority.

(If taking care of yourself BEFORE your job, friends, kids and husband really makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to watch this.)

 Watch it now! (You will need about 7 minutes of uninterrupted time.)

 

As always, thank you!

Sophie

I need this woman…

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I had a week where I faced a few business challenges and some moments of self-doubt and questioning. I have developed tools that allow me to get back to my centre (where all my trust, truth and courage live) but I still experience moments where the steps seem like hard work and I have to rely on faith to keep moving forward.

One of my tools is going to this woman. I found her when my daughter was about 9 months old and I realized suddenly, “oh dear, if I have to stay in this house for one more day, I am going to run away.” I realized that staying at home was not making me happy, that what my day consisted of was not making me happy.

Continue reading “I need this woman…”

Phenomenal woman

Written Phenomenal poem

As I continue on in this journey of mine; reaching, stretching, deepening and growing myself as a woman, I am beginning to feel stirrings. I am starting to feel the power of being a woman.

In celebration of Maya Angelou who passed away yesterday and in celebration of all women everywhere, as you go about your day, please know something.

You are not an ordinary woman.

You are a phenomenal woman.

YOU are a PHENOMENAL woman.

And don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise.

————————————————————————–

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

My mind was blown…and other retreat stories

I have been home for two weeks from the S-Factor retreat in San Diego.

Wow.

Worth the price of admission, folks.

Yup, my mind and my heart were blown. I had experiences there that shifted something inside. Some doors opened that won’t close again.

I have this fear that it will all slip through my fingers. Trampled by my daily life routine. Suffocated by the lovely grind of motherhood. Betrayed by this feeling that the value of a day is measured in the toil, not in the joy. That each day is about getting things done, production, working hard.

Man, I’m so bored of that. It’s just not fun enough.

So many things happened at the retreat. Some things I am still digesting. But let me share two experiences with you today…

(wait, let’s order a few bottles of champagne before we start…)

One experience that really shifted my whole being was feeling perfect as myself. In myself. It was more than acceptance of all that I was (the sadness, the fear, the shyness, the fierceness, the anger, the lust), it was ADORATION. The voices were silent. No nagging. No criticism. No “you should be/do/say”. No self-doubt. Just this total peace as I wandered about, not trying to fix or change anything about me. Loving who I was. I don’t think I have felt quite like that EVER. Which is a very sad reflection, isn’t it?

And I also started a love affair with what Sheila Kelley calls my “erotic creature”. My inner dancer. My alter-ego. I saw her so clearly for the first time but I also recognized her from so long ago. And I have a feeling that knowing her and letting her be alive in my life will add so much of what I want – more adventure, more fierceness, more rebellion, more UNLEASHEDNESS. (As I write that word, I know it is exactly what I mean. )

If your curiosity is piqued, I’m glad. I will be sharing more experiences with you from the retreat as I wrap my brain around them.

In the meantime, I learned this about myself. I have so much more to learn and love about myself. I have ecstasy in me.

I can go higher.

Thank you for sharing this adventure with me.