My mind was blown…and other retreat stories

October 25, 2013

A shadow of my former self…?

October 25, 2013
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Recently, I have had many days where I have felt like a shadow of my former self.

As two children (including our new baby boy, Bax, born on June 27th) nap upstairs, I turn to the computer in a badly-fitting sweater, jogging pants and running shoes. Only better than my outfit is my face; tired eyes and sticking-up hair.

Beside me on the floor are my black platform stilettos, looking up at me with compassion (or is it judgement?). “Where did you go, dude?”, they seem to be gently saying.

Where, indeed.

The days of nights out dancing and riding home on my bike, sweaty and exhilarated, flirting with cute boys everywhere, sparkles, high heels, the rush of performing and being spontaneous and FREE seem to be far behind me.

Yes, some of that is because of marriage and motherhood. And some of it is because my time of being free and unencumbered is over. Work, financial obligations, stable relationships and a home have done wonders for my stability but not for my spontaneous wildness.

Have you ever had this feeling? Have you ever felt that your best times, most fun moments, most outrageous stories were behind you? That the bodacious, outrageous, brave, wild and free girl you “used to be” has left your life for Vegas with a kiss and a goodbye note?

I find that thought particularily depressing.

And it is just NOT GOOD ENOUGH for the rest of my life.

My classes, my workshops, my shows and my performances allow me to be MY FINEST. Which is why I am so eager and excited to get back to work, get back to fun and get back to my greatest self.

In my re-design of my business, I really want to offer experiences that allow women to be in the sweet spot of themselves – out of work mode, out of an age mode, out of girlfriend/wife mode, out of mother mode.

I’d love to hear about how you feel on this subject.

Do you ever feel like a shadow of your former self? Am I alone here?

And, most importantly, are there times when you feel like that wild and wonderful girl again?

Your thoughts, words, opinions and stories are helping me to create the best offerings I can so thank you, as always, for your sharing, attention and time.

Have a wonderful fall!

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