I know how it feels to be depleted. To be exhausted. To feel used up.
To be pissed off because you, like most women, spend every day running at full speed; solving problems, working, tending to other people’s needs, proving yourself at the office, managing relationships, doing errands.
You are giving your all at work, probably even if you hate it. You are packing lunches or making lunches or skipping lunches while you sit at your desk and try to squeeze one more productive hour out of you. You are driving home in traffic after a long day at the office or rushing to pick up kids at daycare and get dinner on the table. You arrive home to chaos or to bills or to worries or to an empty house or to a loud, messy and needy house. And then, at the end of the day, you feel like you should be still productive. Time to put on that sexy lingerie and make love, right? Time to work out! Get that business idea started! Open that art book or journal you’ve been meaning to work on! Go, girl, go!
But you can’t because you. are. just. done.
There is nothing left. All of you has been picked over by work, errands, “to-do’s”, business, children, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, emails, texts, phone calls, responses demanded, help demanded.
There is nothing left because you’ve given all of your time, energy and focus to everyone else and spent none of it on yourself. Is it any wonder that you are finished?
And worst of all, you have this feeling that you just need to “prioritize yourself” but HOW THE HELL DO I DO THAT WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH ELSE TO DO AND THERE JUST ISN’T ENOUGH TIME?”
I hear you. I mean, I really hear you because I’ve been there. And it sucks.
Let me help you. Here are my 3 secrets to prioritizing yourself. I mean it when I say that putting yourself at the top of your list can literally change your life.
#1. Start your day off on the right foot.
I have found that doing something first thing in the morning for myself sets me up for the day. It sends a big message to my brain saying “You are important. You have value.” It is a subtle way to re-wire my thinking and it starts the habit for the day. Don’t leave yourself until the end. That’s called collecting the crumbs from under the table. That sends the message to your brain that you come last. Honour yourself. Start the day off on YOUR foot.
So what would work for you? Waking up a bit earlier to get in a long shower? Doing 5 minutes of stretching? Listening to the music or radio station you want? Laying out your clothes, including accessories, the night before? Putting a sticky note on your mirror that says “Good morning, gorgeous!” What would work for you and allow you to start your day off with self-care and self-love?
#2. Choose you.
Unless it is an emergency, choose you. Kids are hungry and you are starving? Hand them a snack and make your plate first. Choose you. Everyone is going swimming but you’d prefer to go for a walk along the beach? They’ll survive. Go for your walk. Choose you. Husband asks you what you want for dinner? Don’t say what you think he wants. Tell him what you want. Choose you. Have an invitation to a party that doesn’t light you up at all when you think about it? Say “no”. There is always another party. Choose you. People and work and things don’t need you as much as you think they do.
Choose you. Choose you. Choose you.
#3. Leave the dishes in the sink
I know how hard this is for women who like to finish jobs, be organized, do it all right. But this is a crucial mind-shift to make. Dance and leave the dishes in the sink. Leave the mess and make yourself a cup of tea and sit outside. Ignore your emails and take a 10-minute walk around the block. Turn off the computer and take a dance break. Stop working and do something that makes you feel rejuvenated. (Entrepreneurs, this is for you!) If you wait on your pleasure until all the work is done, you will never take your pleasure. Because the work is never done. Don’t put dishes, mess, work, other people’s needs and the demands of technology above yourself.
We talk a lot about pleasure and nourishment in the JWR course. Because if we want to live juicy lives, we have to start knowing what makes us happy and then doing it. Simple words. Big juicy task.
Prioritizing yourself is not only way more fun for you but it is also the No. 1 way to decrease your anger and resentment, lower your stress, and allow you to become a glowing, relaxed, happy and vibrant woman for your family, career, partner, children and community. But mostly for yourself.
As always, thank you for reading. In the comments below, please share any tricks you’ve developed to prioritize your happiness and self-nourishment. Let’s all help each other make this big brain shift.